Thursday, May 5, 2016

100 Word Challenge Week#16

One day I was farming in the field when my mother called me, and when i got inside she handed me a naginata and I said “what do I do this?”
“Attack the invaders!” she exclaimed, so I charged joining my fellow villagers. As they were being slaughtered they suddenly were fleeing. Wondering I turned around and saw a demon, but instead of killing me it just walked into the forest and I exclaimed “wait!’’
I was trekking through the forest when I saw it being attacked by people I ran and helped it. After we won I decided to stay…

2 comments:

  1. I was a bit confused in your story, but still, good job! In the beginning when you say "One day" you should have a comma after that, then say "I was farming..." Also, in your second sentence you have a lower case "I" so you can change that. And when you say "As they were being slaughtered..." You should have comma after "slaughtered." And after that, the next sentence say "Wondering I turned around..." You should have a comma after "Wondering." And in the next sentence after that, you wrote "but instead..." You should have a comma after "but." And also, in the sentence, you should have a comma after "it just walked into the forest,(comma) I exclaimed "wait!" And in the next sentence where you say "I was trekking through the forest..." You should have a comma after "forest." And after you say "when I saw it being attached by people..." You should have a comma after "people."

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