…but later that day…
Might seem normal jumping out of the way of bombs saying hi to the devil at McRonald's when I leave I hear Lucifer nag me, but later that day I heard a trumpet from the sky, it was the 6th croll of course being the gatekeeper of hell I told Satan he freaked out.
"Arooooo!" A howl arose from the gates of hell.
"Oh come on of all creatures Cerberus WHY!" I screamed like a toddler
Being the good gatekeeper I am I never forgot my holy spear calling my loyal dulahan it appeared. charging into battle I Cerberus into the gates of hell.
I don't really gat your story, but you need commas in some sentences and some other punctuation like:"Oh come on! Of all creatures, Cerberus, WHY!" So something like that. And in your story, who is Satan? And who is Lucifer? But still good job on your story, cause I know everybody has worked really hard on their stories, and so whatever your story is, still good job!
ReplyDeleteSatan is the devil and Lucifer is an angel banished from heaven and thanks for the feed back.
DeleteI dont really understand the story it kind of makes to sense threw out. You are also missing a lot of punctuation.
ReplyDelete